New Girl

I switch in and out between watching TV series and reading books.  And there are days when I just binge on watching TV series especially when I am on vacation.

After exhausting a number of my favourite TV series, I finally got to watching New Girl.  Some people find this series a bit overwhelming but I love it! I find it so ridiculous that in each episode, I am sure to laugh out loud.

Last night, I watched episode 18 of season 1 and I was laughing long and hard that I thought I was going to wake up my sleeping daughter. And I'm sure I'm getting a lot of funny stares from the passengers in the bus and earlier today during lunch because I would just suddenly laugh out loud.

I still have a long way to go before I finish it since this series is already at season 4.  I just hope it continues to be as ridiculous as it is now so that I have more reasons to laugh.  I need it these days.  :)


image courtesy of fanpop.com

Sunday Morning Thoughts....

I like being a project manager.  I've always love to plan and I consider myself as an organised person.  I've poured my past 3+ years working on projects in my comfort zone.  I knew I did better as a PM because I know the environment and the application.

When I first ventured into the PM world, I jumped right on to it regardless of how little I know and we made things happen because I've got the right people helping me.  The number of bets people had on my first project not going live would have made anyone rich.  Even the vendor of the application we're implementing didn't think we can do it. But we did.  Albeit, with a lot of problems and a LOT of sacrifices, but we did.

In this new project that I was given, I feel again the same feeling I had when I first started as a PM.  There is an ice in my heart that I can only attribute to fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failing.

I know next to nothing about the applications and the key players.  But I wanted to challenge myself in doing a project that's not in my comfort zone.

And of course it's not smooth sailing.  I've been belittled, maybe not directly but the inference was made, because I don't know the application we're implementing.  But as a PM, I don't need to be an expert. I just need the right people beside me to help me make a decision.

Little by little, I am making sense out of the new world I am in.  But the path to this world is fraught with challenges.  Right now there's little that's confirmed as we wait for decisions to be made from the top.

I need to constantly motivate myself or lose the battle and give up.

Who am I kidding.  I've never been someone who gives up easily.  But it doesn't mean it will not frustrate me.  I really hope things get clearer sooner than later.  I need to feel inspired again and excited about what I do.  And lately that has been missing a lot.  Let's hope it comes back soon.....

image courtesy of Addicted2Success.

Marriage Incorporated

Many consider marriage as an end game. A destination to be reached, an achievement to claim. Like it's a trophy you get to confirm your self worth, a memento to be displayed for all to see.

But it's just another start to a lifelong journey. To an adventure that should link to other beginnings: births, baptism, school, weddings, etc.

How many suddenly realize that the person they married is very different from the person they wanted? Suddenly waking up to a stranger and asking themselves what went wrong.

There are a number of reasons why marriages fall apart. Infidelity, immaturity, incompatible and differing views and opinions, just to name a few.

In a number of countries, the solution is always available: divorce, separation. For a Catholic country like the Philippines, that's not an option.

I used to look at marriage with skepticism.  Incredulously looking on as couples walk down the aisle, silently asking if they are aware of how permanent marriage is.

Don't take me wrongly.  I am a believer of marriage.  I was just not sure everyone who enters it are ready and not just blindly closing their eyes and plunging on into the unknown.

I would like to think that I was ready when I did walk that aisle to meet my husband at the altar.  I did not feel any fear or misgiving that what I was doing is wrong.  One would think that at the age that I entered matrimony, that's already a given. But I don't believe it is.

Now, a few days short of our 4th year as husband and wife, you'd wonder, has anything changed?

With Keiara as an addition to our family, something definitely has changed.  But there are times, out of the blue, I'd look across my husband and feel a sudden jolt that makes me realize that I am still in love with him. 

I know it's funny that realizing that surprises me.  When you've got a husband who takes care of you and your family really well, up to the smallest things, that alone should be enough to indicate how he feels.

As days pass, I still discover things about my husband that continues to amaze me.  

Our journey is still on its early stage. There will be trials and rewards along the way.  I don't know if 10 years on into our marriage if we both would still feel the same.  All I know is that I could have not asked for a better partner to go through this adventure.

3WW: Authentic Enlist Phobia

Recently, I was asked whether I think I'd like to go higher up in the corporate ladder, take on more responsibilities.  I'm sure I can handle it albeit with difficulty.  I may also not be perfect for the role, but if I set my mind to it, I probably can do it.  The question is, is my heart in it?  See, I am an authentic person.  I find it hard to lie.  I can if I need to but it's not in my nature.  So you see, it's difficult for me to hide if I don't like someone.  For me to hide my phobia of a particular person.  Thus, it may be a detriment for my career if I need to rub shoulders with folks I don't particularly like.  Don't get me wrong.  These people probably don't like me too, so the feeling is mutual.  But they would be better adept in hiding that fact than I will ever be in my lifetime.

I can enlist the help of others to get around this fact.  But in life, real or corporate, you need to learn to depend on yourself and not to be too dependent.

I am not a perfect person.  I know that.  You know that.  And if you haven't figured it out yet, I embrace that fact.

My generosity is quite known, so much so that there are tendencies for some to exploit or abuse that.  In most cases, I don't mind.  As long as I can give it, I will.  However, do realise I am a generous person, not a dolt.  I know when someone's pulling my strings.  If I allow it, don't think you're getting one up on me, I probably allowed it just because.

But there's a side of me that also gives people the crazies.  Something that drives other people insane.  Or so frustrated that they just want to scratch my face out of irritation and be done with it.  That's one kind of reaction I always seem to get.  And seriously, I don't understand it.  Moi?  I am a nice person, see.  Look at the many times I've posted about that same topic.  And with so many post about me being nice, then that only means it's true, right?

So.  We've established the facts:

1. I am authentic 
2. I am not perfect
3. I am generous to a fault
4. I am nice
5. I drive people insane  

For people who genuinely believe in # 1, thank you.

For those who falls under # 5, don't be a cry baby.  Go back to # 4.  And if you still don't get it, read # 2 and # 4 again and again until you fall under my spell and finally believe # 1.

When Instragr.am becomes an addiction.....

You know you're addicted to instragr.am

.... when you wake up in the wee hour of the morning and the first thing you check are pop notifications from instragram

.... when you take photos of just about anything because you NEED to share something

.... when you stare at your phone for hours, just waiting for a news feedback if someone liked your photos or not

Here are a few items I've learned.

DO

• add unique tags for your photos so it can be viewed as thumbnails by people who might be interested to see your collection. Start early because when you've got 100+ photos already, it's difficult to go back to the others and tag them one by one
• add specific tags to your photos, e.g. location, object, etc. it allows others to search your photos and you get more views
• if you want, you should ask photos to be tagged as your favorite so you can go back to these photos anytime
• provide sincere feedback. don't go over the top. i will know if you're lying. ha ha.
• respond to feedbacks
• join groups , e.g. #photooftheday, #pimpmyphoto.
• Check out the popular list. You'll be surprised by a lot of good photos out there
• tag photos you like
• follow people who interests you

DON'T

• ask people to follow you. if they want to, they would. otherwise, it will end up as a virtual mutual admiration society. ha ha.
• follow because they followed you. refer to the above.
• post photos taken by someone else!
• press the like button unless you mean it

Books I'm Waiting To Read

I'm so excited to hear that there is going to be a 5th Scarecrow book from Matthew Reilly. Although it's going to be out only at the end of the year, I am glad one of my favorite characters is making a come back!

The new series is entitled SCARECROW AND THE ARMY OF THIEVES (no book cover yet). It promise to be more action-packed than the four prior books. Can't wait to get my hands on it!

Scarecrow books in reading order:









And in April of this year, the 4th installment to The Mortal Instruments series from Cassandra Clare will be out, CITY OF FALLEN ANGELS. I enjoyed reading the books in this series and love the different characters but most especially Jace.

The Mortal Instruments books in reading order:









But the one that I've been waiting for so long is the final book for The Inheritance Cycle from Christopher Paolini. The 3rd book came out on September of 2009 and up to now, there is no news on when we'll get a hold of the last book in the series. I hope it comes out soon.

The Inheritance Cycle books in reading order:









It goes without saying that these are books I would recommend to friends. Of course, everyone has their own book genre preference but these are definitely worth a try.

Look What I Received In The Mail Today!

This was my free book for joining the Mystery and Suspense Challenge 2011. I thought the free book was an e-book and when I didn't receive any feedback after a few days of joining the challenge, I chalked it up to the fact that it's probably limited to UK residents only.

But what do you know? I opened my mails today and was pleasantly surprised to see the book! Nothing beats a freebie!

Comfort Blanket

On our way to the Philippine embassy earlier today, a truck passed our taxi. On the truck was a man wearing reflectorized sunglasses who, on passing us by, suddenly smiled big and wide with utmost confidence in himself. Although my reaction was "duh", it did make me think. This guy obviously got the courage to think he is handsome(ma) or good looking because of his sunglasses. It gave him the confidence to believe the unbelievable. he he.

It brought me back to a recent conversation I had with my mother, my sister and my hubby. About kids having the habit of being attached to a specific object. It could be a favorite blanket, a pillow, a stuffed rabbit, etc. Although there is no physical reason for them to feel secure about having any of these items, children / people still feel safe when they've got their hands on their 'comfort blanket'.

Could it be the smell? Although not washing a blanket for 3 years will definitely give it a unique smell of its own, I don't think that's the reason behind it.

For one reason or another, people get the confidence they need when they have the right support. Remember how you feel when you are wearing the perfect clothes / dress? You feel assured and confident enough to know that you look good. Of course there is only a certain amount of goodness a good dress/clothes can bring. If you're ugly, there is nothing you can do about that except maybe have a series of plastic surgery. He he.

I don't remember being attached to any item when I was young. Although maybe I was just too busy reading that I never have time for other things.

These days, there are so many things a person can get attached to. But hopefully we build this connection because it makes us feel good about ourselves. Being attached to a material thing because it makes you look good in the eyes of other people is not the same thing.

2010 Year Ender

It's that time of the year again. To look back at the year that was, counting your blessings while learning from the bad experiences.

The Bad

• I changed my line manager 3 times this year. 3 different expectations, 3 different styles. So difficult.
  
• Work issues. Things are just so hectic. And at a time when I'm expecting. There was even a joke about my baby being born to be a support person because of all the stress she's been in while I was working.
  
• I gained more than 10 kilos. Does it count if I'm pregnant?

The Good

• Wedding in May. It was a blur for me but I'm glad it was over
  
• Learning I'm pregnant just a few days before the wedding! Good thing my dress design allowed for the bigger tummy. :)
  
• iPad from my hubby

The Great

• Just a few more days to wait for my baby girl to arrive

If 2009 was difficult, 2010 topped it off by a long measure. With the multiple tasks of managing your work and team and planning my wedding, it was definitely not a breeze. Then there's all the difficult complications with my pregnancy that saw me having the most number of medical leaves in my whole career in the company.

Working with different managers who have different styles and different expectations is also not a walk in the park. I had to adjust 3 times this year due to the changes in my direct line manager. The one thing that helped me through all this was the support of my family and my hubby. It was also not easy for my team due to the different changes in team dynamics and leaderships. But the team persevered and endured and hopefully became stronger in the face of all the difficulties we've been through together.

For 2011, the one thing I am looking forward to is being a mother to our baby girl. I'm sure she's going to be a handful if she was to take from either her father or her mother. :) Even as I feel afraid in holding a fragile little thing in my arms, I can't wait to see her. I'm sure I'll need to learn a lot of things but I'll again have the support of my family and husband so I'm not doing this alone.

I am hoping 2011 is sunnier and less stressful than the last 2 years. My team and I definitely need a break. Well, since I'll be on maternity leave for a while, I am technically on work break.

Happy New Year everyone and may the coming year bring all of you good blessings and good cheer!

Counting The Days

Today is the official start of my vacation. Although to be honest, due to health complications (signs of pre-eclempsia), my doctor has asked me to stop working since Monday. Of course, I didn't really follow this as I had to complete my handover and I spent the whole afternoon of Monday doing just that.

My BP was very high last Monday thus the sudden medical leave as my doctor does not believe I should be working still. He has asked me to rest and take my BP twice a day with a specific instruction that if my BP goes beyond 140/90, I am to call the delivery hotline. I even went through a 24 hour urine collection so proteins can be tested and see if there are further issues. But I don't have the result for this yet and hopefully tomorrow I will know.

With only a few days remaining before my baby's birth, I am overwhelmed with different emotions. Of not being ready and not knowing enough what to do. Of fear of how the whole process will be. Of how both me and my baby will fare during the birth. I am sometimes overcome by panic. Whereas before I was satisfied with listening to my baby's heartbeat once a day only, these days I find myself doing this several times a day just to be sure she's okay.

I've got a CS scheduled on January 3. I hope we keep to this schedule instead of having to go to delivery unplanned. Although I have prepared most of the things we'll bring to the hospital, I just hope I won't need to go through the additional stress of having an early delivery.

Anyhow, it's just 11 more days. I really hope things goes well and I find myself with a bouncing baby girl at the start of next year.

NLB

I've been in Singapore for 8 years. In all that time, I've been to the library 3x. Twice at Esplanade and once at Choa Chu Kang. As a PR, I paid a one-time fee of $20 for the membership a few years back and now I can borrow books anytime.

These past two weeks, I have been visiting the Woodlands branch more often. Borrowing more books than I have done in the last 8 years. Funny because I've got a Kindle and I usually buy books now in Amazon. For some unknown reason, I decided to visit the library last week and probably spent at least 1 hour looking around. I did find a few books to borrow but some of the ones advertised as available are not in their shelf.

What I like though with the library here is you can search for a book and reserve it online. You have to pay a small fine of $1.55 but I figured that's okay as long as I get the book that I want. They have a limit of 6 books you can reserve and 6 books you can borrow at a time. I've already got around 9 books under my name that I've borrowed and/or reserved and I think as long as I can see the books in the library, I will probably borrow from there instead of buying it online.

I've had to buy some of the books in Amazon as it is not offered in the library. But one or two is better than buying 10. So I guess it's still a better bargain. Sorry to my sis Malou who also borrows some of my online books. There's just so much to save by utilizing the library here.



Of course, I feel sad when I see the books that I borrow and the deplorable conditions they are in. I am so tempted to put plastic covers in them to make them look more cared for but I don't know if that's okay. I just can't stand seeing books being abused like this. I seriously don't know why book lovers can't be good to the books they read.

By the way, they do have a promotion in the Woodlands library where one can bring their old books and share it with others. I've been meaning to do that since I've got a few that I've already read and don't know what to do anymore. Being able to share the books with someone else is better than letting it rot in my library.

I'm looking forward to borrowing more books in the NLB. I won't be giving up my Kindle just yet as I still have to buy some books online. But I am glad I have a way now of saving a bit of money courtesy of our national library.

In Sickness and In Health...

Since last Friday, I've been housebound. I seem to have strained some muscle after a sneeze/cough and it caused me to feel pain every time I try to move. For Friday and Saturday, it was horrible as I can't do much. I can't go to the doctor as I can't even move 3 steps without feeling a searing pain. After applying hot compress on my problem area, it started to ease a bit. I can walk now with the help of a cane but I still cannot walk fast. Sitting is not a problem but lying down continue to give me pain.

All this time, my hubby has been taking care of me, up to all the small details. And believe me, it was not easy. I was smirking the other day because it seems our marriage vow about taking care of each other in sickness and in health came earlier than he probably anticipated.

I love my hubby more for being there and supporting me. While someone else might have lost patience with me already, he continued to be understanding. He even make light of the situation by making me laugh most of the time. Although I usually ask him to stop as it causes me pain sometimes.

And no one would wonder why I fell in love with him. He continues to amaze me.

Married Life

I am still trying to reconcile myself to the fact that I am now married. That I now have other people that I am responsible for.

On the first morning after our wedding, I congratulated myself for having managed to prepare breakfast for my husband and our 3 kids. Yes, as the priest said during the wedding, Wilt's kids from his prior marriage are now my kids too.

The wedding seemed to have come and gone, not perfectly, but with minimal glitches. I love my wedding dress and I love the fact that it steered people away from the fact that I have gained weight. He he.

One small problem is that I lost my bridal bouquet. The tulips are gone! After asking several people, we finally realized that we left it at the reception. By this time, the flowers would have wilted so I don't think I can do anything about it by now.

Wilt and I are very thankful for all the people who helped us with our wedding and for those who attended as well. We're so glad we got the weather we wanted even though it was threatened by a very heavy rain the night before.

Anyhow, we've accomplished one goal together, next stop is to build our family and make it stronger and hopefully larger. I've found the right partner and I hope we have a great and lasting relationship. One can only hope and pray.

Early Morning Respite

We've got a full house these days due to a lot of visitors from Manila from my fiance's family. I know. Some people might think it's crazy to be visiting now at a time when we should be busy planning the wedding. However, this has been something planned for some time now and it just so happens that the wedding and the Singapore visit coincided with each other.

It's always good to hear laughter and a lot of friendly bantering. It makes the house feel more alive.

However, one thing that's always been the negative side effect of having visitors is the fact that it can be tiresome to bring people around. I am not really complaining, just stating a fact. And due to our house being full, having the house to myself is a bliss that I rarely get these days. So when I do, I take advantage of it to write.

My blog has been neglected for a while now due to a lack of interest and muse. Yes, I could probably write about a lot of things about mundane things but I don't want my blog to be one of those shallow ones where the blogger writes just for the sake of writing.

Anyhow, it's just a few more days before I go back to Manila and start being busy with my wedding. For now, I try to accomplish a lot from here through SMS, emails and calls. Thank God for modern communications or I'll never be able to finish everything. There's still a lot to do and I feel like I might be forgetting something. I hate that feeling. I just hope that we get everything set a few days before so we can sit pretty and rest prior to the wedding day.

3 months 2 weeks to go

These past few days, I revisited the things I needed to prepare for my wedding. And I realized that I still have a lot to do.

My Bello has been pushing me to prepare for other stuff that I figured I can do later. But while I was in the middle of it all, I realized he is right and I need to do this now. Especially since he's still here and can help me put things down into our checklist.

So one more day to go and I still have a lot to plan. Let's just hope I don't start panicking and hyperventilate.


breath in, breath out. breath in, breath out.

Funny Characters

All these events happened recently. Yes, they're true and not fiction.

The Stepping Lady
I bought a few items from the grocery so when I got a seat in the MRT train, I felt lucky. I put my bags in between my legs so I don't bother other commuters in the train. And then I read.

A few stops after, the man seated beside me alighted and an Auntie took the seat. At this time, I was barely registering who she was as I was busy reading. I have not moved since I first sat.

Suddenly, I felt someone stepping on my right foot. The Auntie was stepping on me! When I told her she was stepping on me, her answer was, "No, I am not stepping on you. You are going beyond your space. You see this line here (she showed the line between seats), you are going beyond that."

I was irritated. I have not moved a single muscle and suddenly the Auntie thinks I am invading her space. And instead of asking nicely for me to move, she promptly stepped on my foot thinking she has the right to do so.

For several seconds we argued, she was adamant that she's not stepping on my foot when the evidence is clearly otherwise. I told the Auntie that if she needed more space she could have just told me and I would have moved.

I did move and just brushed her continued chattering aside. I have much better things to do than to argue with a funny Auntie.


The Possessive Auntie
At the office, we have a pantry near our seats that has condiments for water, coffee, tea. There is also a wash basin for those who need to wash their hands or other stuff.

I arrived one morning with an Auntie occupying the right side of the pantry. She was getting coffee so she was busy at that moment. I went ahead and washed my hands, my water bottle and my cup.

In the middle of my activity, the Auntie stood beside me and started cutting her fruits and was starting to make a lot of noise. Then a few seconds after, while I was still washing my items, she suddenly snaked her hands in under the water tap and washed her hands.

I mumbled "Kung di ba naman bastos itong babaeng ito" (Well, isn't this lady rude)

To which the Auntie said, "Don't shout. I was here ahead of you."

First, I was not shouting. Second, I didn't know she owns the pantry.

Anyhow, I let it pass. I will not argue with an Auntie who seems to think she owns everything.


The Pinay at Carrefour
My sister and I went to Carrefour one time to buy cereals. When we arrived at that aisle, there was a lady who was diligently searching and reading the labels of the cereals. I took two boxes of the cereals i love and made a commentary to my sister (in Tagalog) about how I love them and how it is the best flavor.

To my dismay, I saw the lady took the last box of cereal. I was planning on getting it as well so I can stock up. It is always difficult to get that flavor as it is usually out-of-stock.

Again, I made a commentary to my sister about how it was too bad the lola (translation grandmother but i usually use this to mean any female) took the last box as well. I was hoping to get it too.

After my commentary, the lady suddenly said "Naiintindihan ko kayo" (I can understand you)

To which I cheekily replied "Bakit, wala naman kaming sinasabing masama" (Why, we are not saying anything bad).

My sister and I burst out laughing afterwards because we can't believe the girl would have the gall to say that. Even I will not do that unless there was some derogatory remarks being made.

On hindsight, I realized the lady probably did not like being called Lola and bristled when I continuously call her that.

The Big List for 2009

For 2009, here is my BIG list:

DO’s
✓ Continue to set aside a portion of my salary for savings
✓ Go back to creative writing
✓ Read more
✓ Hot yoga
✓ Avoid getting involved in an FB fight
✓ Blog more
✓ Plan wedding

DON’Ts
✗ Dip into my savings
✗ Spend too much time in reading gossip magazines
✗ Buy clothes that I will wear only once or twice
✗ Charge too much on my credit cards
✗ Buy anything (even if I don’t need it) just because it is on sale
✗ Panic
✗ FB too much

2009 Year Ender

I believe in traditions. And this is one I plan to keep at least hopefully for a while. Here is my year ender list for 2009.

The Bad

• I became a klutz. I remember at least 2 or 3 times when I either tripped or fell down. One good thing about it was that I took it all in stride and did not feel ashamed. Maybe because there's just too much pain. mwe he he he.
  
• Our place in Singapore got robbed and I lost a lot of my valuables. But as they say, it's just material things and can be replaced. I'm just glad all of us were away and were not harmed.
  
• I became too busy for yoga and gained weight. *sigh*

The Good

• Nikon D5000
  
• Sigma Lenses (especially if they're given as gifts! he he)
  
• Peppermint mocha is back!
  
• Kindle. Woohoo!

The Great

• I got engaged

The year 2009 was not an easy one both in my career and in my personal life. But it brought me good blessings too and I will not feel bad about it. I look forward to 2010 with an easy heart and great anticipation. I know 2010 will be a great one.

Happy New Year everyone and may the coming year bring all of you good blessings and good cheer!

It's the time for free coffee!!

Haizzz

I don't know what's wrong with me.

One minute I was just walking down the escalator, my eyes on the platform, trying to see if the train has arrived. Then the next thing I knew, I was falling down the stairs with a loud bang.

I hurt myself again as both my legs were scratched and my right thumb feels like it's broken.

Some people were nice enough to try to help me while a witch of an Ang Mo can't seem to help herself and just burst out laughing. *sigh*

Anyhow, maybe I'm used to it, or maybe I really don't care. I didn't feel ashamed or ruffled by the accident. I feel bad because it was painful but I didn't feel my pride being hurt. Maybe I have no more qualms about falling because I seem to be doing this often. He he.