Princesses Can Be Bullies Too

People think of bullies as someone who are bigger, older. Someone who can physically hurt another and uses that power to bully someone else.

But in a recent school trip with my daughter Keiara, I realise some bullies can be small kids, who are princesses and the light in their Mommy's eyes.

Keiara has always been a sweet girl. She likes making friends and talking to other kids and asking them to be her friends. I started noticing something wrong even on the first day of our trip when Keiara comes to me and telling me she's not being allowed to play with the other kids.  She was being bullied by a kid much smaller than her and much younger. And no one noticed it except us because no one thinks this little girl, who is a Princess in her mom's eye can be a bully.

When Keiara plays with the other kids and 'S' is not around, the other kids love playing with her. They get along fine and things are well. When 'S' comes around, Keiara is suddenly excluded because 'S' doesn't like Keiara. She would be told that she cannot join the game or cannot go inside the circle. And when I asked my daughter about it, she said it's because 'S' has the preconceived idea that because Keaira is bigger, she will hurt them.

Keiara has never been one to use her size to bully anyone. In fact, she refrain from fighting anyone.
'S' would ask her to go away from a seat and Keiara would give up her seat that easily. When asked, it was because 'S' is fierce and she does not want to fight.

'S' also was rude to adults. One time she said to Keiara that she has a stupid friend when she was playing with her brother Robin and me. Imagine a small six year old telling you that. What a Princess.

What is sad is that I told the school Principal and her mom after the events. They are close and I am the new mom in the block. I didn't think it would make a difference during the trip although they said I should have done it then. But regardless. I didn't see anything out of it. I feel sad about it. But all I can do is tell them and leave it to them to do anything about it. If they choose not to do anything about this, then they are also supporting 'S' in her bullying.

I prayed for 'S' for a few days. But after not hearing from her mom about the bad behaviour of her kid, i realised that this kid may not change if her Mom does not see the bad attitude of her kid. Who am I to tell her how to raise her kid? Sadly, 'S', without the right guidance, will continue her reign of terror and may end up being a bigger bully when she grows up.

One thing I know is that I will try to help Keiara to fight off the bullies but avoid being a bully herself. I hope and pray that Keiara find someone who can step up for her and stop any bullying in her new school.

My Little Princess

I looked for her favourite movie 'How to Train Your Dragon'.  But upon playing it, she said, 'I don't like dragons!'.  So I closed it off and gave her color pencils and her paper so she can continue to doodle.

A few minutes out, she then said, 'I like dragons! You see! I like dragons!'  So you then promptly play the movie for her.

This is just a few of the flavour of a mom's daily experience.  Then there's those instances when she get angry and she will say, 'Go to your room and cry!'  But would then follow you closely when you stand up and follow her command.

My daughter is at that age when she now say what's on her mind or anything in between that she just thought of in the spur of the moment.

She even surprised my husband when she blurted one day, 'I want to sleep with Lulu'.  Upon giving her one of her many sleeping bears, she said, 'No! This is not Lulu. This is Roger!'.  Only then did my husband delightfully realised that my daughter has named her bears.

Give her a doll and she will instantly throw it away as she seem to have no love for them.  But give her a gun or a car and she will be your adoring fan.  I did test it and she does like cutie things like Hello Kitty so she's not solely liking toys for the boys.  She just happen to like playing with the cars, trains and guns than waste her time playing with dolls.

Keaira also now starts making stories and playing make believe with her cars, with her bears and with her other toys.  Which can be very funny sometimes when you hear her making up her own dialogue as she goes along.

She smiles at everyone and greet anyone she sees.  She doesn't of course always get a reciprocal warm greetings but sometimes she manages to break the ice with a few people and she'd get a 'Hi' in return.

Nowadays, she can already understand when someone is angry or unhappy.  She will then ask, 'Are you happy?'.  If you say no, she will then say 'Love Mommy and Kiss Mommy'.  Then she'll open her arms to hug you and give you a kiss.  This will then be followed by 'Are you happy now?'.  No matter how annoyed you are for any naughty things she did, those go away the moment she gives you a hug and a kiss.  Simple but it works.

Sometimes, I wonder from whom she got her naughty nature.  When you ask her to stay still so you can fix her hair, she will then start moving crazy like a worm making it impossible for you to do what you need to do.  This is of course accompanied by her crazy face and crazy smile.  Grrrrrr.  Instead of getting angry, you end up being enchanted by her antics that I can't help sometimes but to kiss her.

Being a Mom is definitely not a walk in the park.  But being Keiara's Mom is definitely worth it.

Keiara's Easter School Program 2014

The whole event is for two hours.  Unfortunately, the first 45 minutes was focused on announcements, songs and talks.

One minister provided a talk about a reading from the bible.  And a few seconds in, I see a number of people in the audience whip out their mobile phones and/or tablet and focused instead on their games, messages or social media sites.  I can't really blame them.  The speaker try his best but it was not an inspiring talk.  In fact, I almost turn to my own mobile but I forced myself to listen, to at least provide him my undivided attention out of respect.  It's hard as it is to be speaking in front of a huge audience, more so when you're not charismatic enough to keep the attention of everyone.

The presentation today from the children were not as good as the ones from last year.  Maybe it's because it's the first one for the year and both the teachers and the kids are still getting to know each other so a number of them seems bland.  But the kids always make it fun.

When it was my daughter's turn, regardless of how simple her presentation was, I was so proud.

Here is the presentation of my daughter's class.  Again, it is simple.  But for a mom, there's no one better, no better performer.  The video is not that sharp or good because while filming I was also watching.  Enjoy!

Confessions of A Mom

Someone asked me, in knowing the difficulties I know now of being a Mom, would I do it again?  And without a single heartbeat in between, I answered yes.  I would never trade the happiness that my daughter provides me for the luxuries that I no longer enjoy.  

I believe that one cannot say you have loved selflessly until you've felt the unabashed feeling of loving your own child.  Imagine holding a child who, in their young lives, have nothing tangible to give and yet provides you with the a most rewarding feeling.  Whose smile can break your heart for the sweet joy it brings.  Whose tears can echo similar tears welling up in your eyes.  

When they fall, they cry and you are there to support them and help heal them.  When they are hungry, they cry and you are there to feed them.  This little person who looks up at you with love, who does not have any prejudice for the kind of person you are.  This little person who loves you just because.

But raising a child is not easy.  I used to think that if I end up not marrying anyone, I'd try a hand at raising a child.  Boy, was I fooling myself.  It's difficult enough as it is when you've got a partner to help you.  More so I think when you do it on your own.

This is not like having a kitten or a puppy that you can return or send away when you end up not liking it.  Having a child is for life.  Everything change.

Your priorities change.  Your plans change.

Where you used to be planning for that trip in Europe with your partner, now you plan how to save enough money for your child.  You'll probably still plan for a trip but now the venue would be geared towards what the children will enjoy versus the places in your bucket list.

Before, you can stay outside of the house for a long time, not really taking notice of the hours as they tick by.  But now, an hour after running personal errands, you can't wait to go back to your child.

Your patience would be tried and tested.  To the fullest.  Again and again.  If from the start you're someone who is impatient by nature, all that must change for your child.  And even if you pride yourself as someone whose patience goes a long way, you know you'll snap every once in a while no matter what you do.  You just can't help it.  This little bundle of joy, this cute little child can sometimes be the devil in disguise.  Oh yeah.  They'll bait you to no end, and that without them knowing they're making you boil already.  But at the end of the day, you chide yourself for losing it over the most mundane things.

So you see.  The life of a Mom is not easy.  But don't be discouraged.  It may not be all pomp and glory but there's always a reward.  All your stress and trouble goes away when you get a fierce hug from their little arms and a whispered 'I love you' at the end of your day.  So yeah.  I am a Mom and I love it!

8 Months and Counting....

I've been neglecting my blog.  Not by choice but just because I've been busy.  Work is starting to be more hectic as we move nearer to the end of the year.  And since I take care of Keiara in the evening, it doesn't leave me much time to spend on recreations.  =)

Yesterday, Keaira turned 8.  And we spent part of the day in Carrefour Suntec.  I know it's not a very good place to celebrate her 8th month but we needed to do some shopping!  Her Daddy also wants her to go out every now and then so she can get used to seeing a lot of people.

The train ride in the circle line was not a very good choice as there were a lot of students who boarded the train and it became a very wild and loud circus.  Good thing Keiara was not irritated and started crying like the other babies in the train.  The noise was just so horrible.

Our highlight for the day is when she started shouting and shouting even at strangers!  She just won't stop! Aahhh!  Aahhhh!  Aahhhhh!  She was shouting so much I was afraid she's going to get hoarse.

It turned out she wants a new diaper as she already pooped.  And as she was sleepy at the same time, she then started bawling, with tears running down her face, while we were cleaning her up!  She only stopped when Mommy held her close.  After that, she wanted to stay in Mommy's arms until she fell asleep.  :)

Here's a photo of Keiara taken by Daddy in August.  So pretty.

Happy 8th month Ta-baby! Love you! Muah!

Attention Please!

My eye was glued to the TV that I didn't even notice that KT was looking at me intently.  

At first, she was smiling, so happy to see her Mommy.  But as I continue to ignore her, her smiles turned to a frown.  And when that still did not get the attention she's looking for, she started bawling loudly.

That definitely got my attention.  I had to kiss and hug her and talk to her for a while before she feels safe enough to stop crying.

Lesson learned: don't watch TV.  Ha ha.

Keiara Therese

A week has passed since Keiara's birth. With the way we're being kept busy, you'd think it was a lot longer than that. It's true that it ain't a holiday. It is definitely a 24x7 work. It's tiring and challenging.

But it's the small things that makes you realize it's all worth it.

A smile that seems to be especially for you.

The way she snuggles close to me when she falls asleep.

How her dad lights up whenever he sees her.

I'm sure all mothers feel the same. Their child is perfect.

I know it is not going to be easy but all the pain and body ache goes away when you realize that there's this tiny little girl now who is a part of both of you.