When I first ventured into the PM world, I jumped right on to it regardless of how little I know and we made things happen because I've got the right people helping me. The number of bets people had on my first project not going live would have made anyone rich. Even the vendor of the application we're implementing didn't think we can do it. But we did. Albeit, with a lot of problems and a LOT of sacrifices, but we did.
In this new project that I was given, I feel again the same feeling I had when I first started as a PM. There is an ice in my heart that I can only attribute to fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing.
I know next to nothing about the applications and the key players. But I wanted to challenge myself in doing a project that's not in my comfort zone.
And of course it's not smooth sailing. I've been belittled, maybe not directly but the inference was made, because I don't know the application we're implementing. But as a PM, I don't need to be an expert. I just need the right people beside me to help me make a decision.
Little by little, I am making sense out of the new world I am in. But the path to this world is fraught with challenges. Right now there's little that's confirmed as we wait for decisions to be made from the top.
I need to constantly motivate myself or lose the battle and give up.
Who am I kidding. I've never been someone who gives up easily. But it doesn't mean it will not frustrate me. I really hope things get clearer sooner than later. I need to feel inspired again and excited about what I do. And lately that has been missing a lot. Let's hope it comes back soon.....
image courtesy of Addicted2Success.
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