Friday, April 11, 2014

Confessions of A Mom

Someone asked me, in knowing the difficulties I know now of being a Mom, would I do it again?  And without a single heartbeat in between, I answered yes.  I would never trade the happiness that my daughter provides me for the luxuries that I no longer enjoy.  

I believe that one cannot say you have loved selflessly until you've felt the unabashed feeling of loving your own child.  Imagine holding a child who, in their young lives, have nothing tangible to give and yet provides you with the a most rewarding feeling.  Whose smile can break your heart for the sweet joy it brings.  Whose tears can echo similar tears welling up in your eyes.  

When they fall, they cry and you are there to support them and help heal them.  When they are hungry, they cry and you are there to feed them.  This little person who looks up at you with love, who does not have any prejudice for the kind of person you are.  This little person who loves you just because.

But raising a child is not easy.  I used to think that if I end up not marrying anyone, I'd try a hand at raising a child.  Boy, was I fooling myself.  It's difficult enough as it is when you've got a partner to help you.  More so I think when you do it on your own.

This is not like having a kitten or a puppy that you can return or send away when you end up not liking it.  Having a child is for life.  Everything change.

Your priorities change.  Your plans change.

Where you used to be planning for that trip in Europe with your partner, now you plan how to save enough money for your child.  You'll probably still plan for a trip but now the venue would be geared towards what the children will enjoy versus the places in your bucket list.

Before, you can stay outside of the house for a long time, not really taking notice of the hours as they tick by.  But now, an hour after running personal errands, you can't wait to go back to your child.

Your patience would be tried and tested.  To the fullest.  Again and again.  If from the start you're someone who is impatient by nature, all that must change for your child.  And even if you pride yourself as someone whose patience goes a long way, you know you'll snap every once in a while no matter what you do.  You just can't help it.  This little bundle of joy, this cute little child can sometimes be the devil in disguise.  Oh yeah.  They'll bait you to no end, and that without them knowing they're making you boil already.  But at the end of the day, you chide yourself for losing it over the most mundane things.

So you see.  The life of a Mom is not easy.  But don't be discouraged.  It may not be all pomp and glory but there's always a reward.  All your stress and trouble goes away when you get a fierce hug from their little arms and a whispered 'I love you' at the end of your day.  So yeah.  I am a Mom and I love it!

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