Of Loving and Being Loved

Warning: Spoilers ahead

In episode 10 of Boston Legal Season 1, Alan Shore was held hostage by a man who felt his life is ruined because he lost custody of his children.

After the ordeal, Tara, Alan’s current girlfriend suddenly blurted out, “I love you”.

“I don’t want to marry you. I’m not even sure I want to date you. But I love you.”

Alan, for once was at a loss for word, his look of utter surprise clearly visible in his face.

Tara then said that it is the part where the boy would usually say, “Me too”. Or something like, “You smell good”.

It seems that Tara nearly died once and she thought at that time about those who would grieve. And she wondered then if she was loved. She was just ensuring that Alan knows that he is.

Funny but that scene gave me pause. I think it is a bit sad if you have to wonder if you are loved at a time when scenes in your life flashes through your eyes. Aren’t we supposed to be always expressing our feelings to the people we love, if not through words then through our actions?

But then I realized that a person can be in a relationship and yet not be loved. Women almost always have to feel to be in a relationship. 'Almost' is the operative word here because these days women can be in a relationship and not feel. Sure, the man possibly has a tender feeling for you and yet still not love you. We rebel at the thought and get angry because we can't understand how this person we love do not reciprocate our feelings. But men think differently. Some think with their d*ck, pardon my French. The fact that you go out together, make love everyday, does not automatically mean you have his heart. Sad isn't it? And woe to the woman who tries to change this man for she will surely fail.

Oh yeah. Just because this man says he loves you doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Some men say these words so easily like 'Hello' and 'Good morning' because it means nothing to them. To them, it is a means to get the woman to stay longer, to make her feel he cares.

I am not saying that all men are evil and pigs, although some might be. But the simple hard truth is that it is sometimes difficult to know when we are loved. Sure our family loves us unconditionally but when we are looking for someone who loves us, it is not always our friends or families that we long for.

There are men though who gladly give their heart to the woman they love. And this woman always knows that she is loved. She does not question it, she does not doubt it, she just knows.

When we arrive at that point at the thin line between life and death, each one of us just might wonder if we are loved.

I hope you can answer it with certainty, without a seed of doubt in your heart. I know what my answer will be. Do you?