A close friend of mine asked if I feel the dreariness of being single. And I think he was surprised to hear that I don’t even think about it. Seriously. I don’t get it. As I said, I am not unhappy and I do not even feel that I should be living someone else’s life. I don’t envy anyone who lives a life of adventure because we choose our own destiny. If you want to be happy, then you should resolve to make yourself happy. You can’t wait for life to come and say, ‘Oh yes. Today I will make Theresa happy by giving her everything she wants in life.’ I think that only happens in fairy tales and I know I don’t live in a fairy tale life.
At one time, someone also commented to me that I don’t seem to have a problem. But I do, who in this world doesn’t? I guess I just happen to be the type that does not allow things like that to drag me down. I don’t announce to the world that I have a problem. Boo hoo. Who cares?
Yes, I post in my blog things that happened to me and things that I want to do. Which in a way might make the reader think that they know me well. But I think that’s a useless assumption because no matter how much you post, people will never know what you think and feel about everything because that’s personal. It’s yours and you can choose to share it or not.
I do feel depressed sometimes especially during the time when my period comes. I think that’s a normal cycle for most women. But that doesn’t mean that I will mope around and feel sorry for myself. Maybe my heart is hardened by life or maybe I’m jaded but I don’t know why I should feel down when problems hit me.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not heartless. I do feel and I am sensitive to the people around me. I feel sad when someone close to me is sad and I am usually happy for friends and family when something good happens in their lives. I know how to sympathize with people who are down and out of luck. I am not such a b*tch that I will kick someone when they’re down.
I have long ago resolved that I will live my life the way I want to and be happy whenever I can. Life is short and being worried about things is not really helping.
This blog entry is dedicated to my friend L in Chicago. Miss you!
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