Counting The Days

Today is the official start of my vacation. Although to be honest, due to health complications (signs of pre-eclempsia), my doctor has asked me to stop working since Monday. Of course, I didn't really follow this as I had to complete my handover and I spent the whole afternoon of Monday doing just that.

My BP was very high last Monday thus the sudden medical leave as my doctor does not believe I should be working still. He has asked me to rest and take my BP twice a day with a specific instruction that if my BP goes beyond 140/90, I am to call the delivery hotline. I even went through a 24 hour urine collection so proteins can be tested and see if there are further issues. But I don't have the result for this yet and hopefully tomorrow I will know.

With only a few days remaining before my baby's birth, I am overwhelmed with different emotions. Of not being ready and not knowing enough what to do. Of fear of how the whole process will be. Of how both me and my baby will fare during the birth. I am sometimes overcome by panic. Whereas before I was satisfied with listening to my baby's heartbeat once a day only, these days I find myself doing this several times a day just to be sure she's okay.

I've got a CS scheduled on January 3. I hope we keep to this schedule instead of having to go to delivery unplanned. Although I have prepared most of the things we'll bring to the hospital, I just hope I won't need to go through the additional stress of having an early delivery.

Anyhow, it's just 11 more days. I really hope things goes well and I find myself with a bouncing baby girl at the start of next year.